3 Reasons You Should Hate AdWords More Than Your Phone Company

I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of one person that’s happy with their cell phone service provider or their long distance carrier. You just go on with life (with your fingers crossed) hoping you never have to deal with them.

But sometimes people just complain about them because it’s so common. So why not ease up on AT&T and cast your glance at someone that deserves it - Pay-Per-Click Ad Agencies!

That’s right, Google, Yahoo, MSN, Ask, and all the others. Here’s why:

3. Keyword Restrictions

Whenever I call up an old buddy of mine, I regularly swear and use profanity. No one cares. I also talk about Nike, Adidas, eBay, Amazon, and many other trademarked brand names. No big deal. And my extensive slang… no problemo.

But have you ever used certain four letter words in an Adwords ad? Or bid on a trademarked name? Or used poor grammar and vocabulary?

If so, they probably disapproved your campaigns, banned your account, or sent your personal details over to the trademark attorneys.

2. Coupons and vouchers are only good for first-time customers.

Don’t you just hate seeing those offers for “$100 in Free Clicks!” that are only available for new publishers?

It’s kind of like the “all the long distance calls you want for $1.99 per month (for the first 2 days)” that you get from the phone company. But let’s say you get a new house with a new phone number - your new address means you are eligible for the deal once again.

(And sometimes if you call them and beg nicely, they’ll give out special treatment to long-time customers.)

But let’s say you start a new website and start new PPC campaigns for it. Do you get anything for it? Any good deals? NO! The PPC companies will keep screwing you until you start a new company with a new Tax ID number (and therefore can start a second advertiser account.)

To make things worse, there are sites that list all these vouchers. Even with third tier search engines. I get pissed at Adwords even more whenever I see that list!

1. You Can’t Bitch Someone Out

What’s the first thing you do when you see some extra charges tacked onto your bill? If you’re like me, you call up customer service and promptly bitch out every representative that picks up the phone. (Being rational is not something I like to do.)

There’s just something satisfying about yelling at helpless underpaid customer service reps. Yelling at their manager is great, too. Especially when the charges were all your fault to begin with.

But have you ever done that to Google? Called them up and said “Yo G, I can’t f&@$ believe this quality score $2*$&*$@!! What’s up with dat?”

Chances are your answer is “No.” That’s because you can’t talk to a real person at Google. So you have to go flame them on the message boards. And that is nowhere near as much fun.

* Note that you should still hate your phone company, but hate Adwords too.

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