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Hot Teleclass Temptation as Telephone Bridge Line Literally Does Go to Hell

A colossal battle between good and evil was recently waged in the guise of a seemingly-ordinary Internet marketing teleconference call. Unbeknownst to the trusting and innocent souls on the earthly end of the telephone line, the call was none other than a Hotline to Hell!

hotline to hell

Fifteen hundred eager participants, most of whom were new to the industry, signed up for the innocuously-titled teleclass, The Secret That All Successful Internet Marketers Know. But, when the callers dialed in as instructed on the unseasonably scorching June day, many instantly suspected that this call was somehow different from what had been advertised.

Instead of being greeted with the usual peppy chitchat, callers heard a growling male voice that immediately began insulting their maternal lineages with a series of “Yo’ Mama” jokes. The least offensive of these was “Yo’ mama is so poor, she had to put a Big Mac® on layaway.” And this was just the beginning.

“The host of the call identified himself as Satan, and launched into a description of his affiliate program, which, he claimed, has been around for centuries,” said ear-witness Jorge Faust. “Apparently, becoming Satan’s affiliate is the secret that all successful Internet marketers know!”

In keeping with the new trend of dubbing call participants “fans”—whether they are indeed devotees of the host or not—a few hundred of Satan’s “fans” anxiously wanted to opt-in despite the chilling warning that there was no way to “unsubscribe.”

In addition, Satan began to push his own Evil Mastermind group, which was divided into two levels, Upper and Lower, or more popularly, Gold and Filthy Lucre.

Just then…

Excuse me. I had to get a glass of iced tea, as it is getting rather steamy in here. Now, where was I? Okay. Just then, a huge burst of static interference —or, some might say, Divine Intervention—appeared out of nowhere, effectively muting out the dastardly URL Satan gave to his would-be minions. Heavenly music of the spheres blasted across the bridge line before the participants were violently dropped out of the call. Satan himself commanded his fans to call back in but at this point he sounded more like he was on a cell phone breaking up than speaking from the underworld landline he was, in fact, using. Faithful followers who did attempt to dial back in were—and still are to this very day, and may be for all eternity—perpetually greeted with a busy signal.

But that was not the end of the supernatural, angelic goings-on.

Dante Weinstein, of Brooklyn, New York, had signed up for the now-infamous call but missed it due to emergency dental surgery. “I received an email with the link for the mp3 file a few days later,” he said. As was his wont, he listened to the demonic download backwards. “I was shocked that, instead of being given fiendish marketing orders, I heard a sweet, heavenly voice suggesting I might like to join the Peace Corps.”

Of course, the pitchforked powers of evil never sleep, and according to an unnamed source, it is reported that Satan is now moving on to Webinars.

graphic: iStockphoto.com

Get a 100% Commission on MyContactStation (Yes, that means free!)

Last month I came across a new script called My Contact Station (MCS.) It’s a regular contact form script, but it’s supposed to be great at stopping spam, and it uses Ajax for that coveted Web 2.0 look!

joel comm mycontactstation

I’ve been messing with contact scripts, and this looked neat, so I did a little more research… only to find that this one cost a mere $7. So I couldn’t resist for that price and picked up a copy. Even better, you can resell the script and keep 100% of it!

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after my purchase that I realized how you can get the 100% commission for yourself, even if you haven’t purchased your own copy yet!

Yep, if you’re reading this, just follow the simple steps below to claim a totally free copy of this script! :)

First, you need to find the affiliate page. Or just click here and go to it.

Once you read that page and find the reseller link format, it’s pretty simple to get the script for free. All you have to do is plug-in your PayPal address into the linking code. Then copy and paste that link into your browser.

What happens is that you are sending $7 to yourself! No one else is involved.

Now go try it out and get your free contact script!

Wondering how Joel Comm makes money?

It’s all about the upsell. After you purchase the $7 basic version, you are presented with the one-time opportunity to upgrade to the “Pro” edition for $27. If you get suckered into that, the $27 is going to the guru. So the $7 product really doesn’t matter to them. It’s basically a “loss leader” to get you started.

Once they get you in the buying mood, you’re more likely to fork out the $27 than if you were presented with the $27 (or $34 total) price tag in the first place.

It’s not shady practice, it’s smart business. But we’re smarter. We’ll take the $7 product for free and skip the upsell. ;)

One more thing - do you think I shouldn’t be revealing this?

I see no reason not to. First of all, the original creator of the program gave out that affiliate info URL before the product was even for sale, so anyone with access to Google can find it. Second, if I wasn’t telling people how to get it for free, I’d be using my affiliate URL. So either way, the guru loses the $7 (but can still throw in the upsell, which is all that matters to him.)

So this is a win-win situation :)

Edit: It looks like the reseller links listed on that page are outdated. But it looks like you can get around that by deleting the taf=1& from your URL.

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