Since I went ahead and did a recap of some of the stuff that sucked in 2007, I might as well write my predictions for 2008:

1. John Chow will quit blogging.

Long-time JohnChow.com readers will remember a time when he was the only author and most of the content on his blog was insightful (albeit evil) advice for making money online. At that time, it was a great blog. Recently, however, it seems that the blog is ruled by guest authors - even the $450 ReviewMe reviews are outsourced. (If I wanted to read stuff from n00bs, I’d surf around on blogspot.)

Unfortunately, I think this trend will continue through 2008. John Chow will post less and less until even his dinner party posts are written by someone else. (Good for him, though, because he established a business where he makes $20k per month with what is mostly user-generated content. And unlike Myspace, it’s not a lurking spot for sexual predators.)

2. ProBlogger.net will get moved to AverageBlogger.net

In a move similar to what’s happening to JohnChow.com, ProBlogger.net will get overrun with guest authors who post the same rehashed information that I’ve read countless times (or just plain common sense stuff.)

This will force the FCC to intervene and enforce international categorization laws which will understandably demote ProBlogger down to AverageBlogger level. (Let’s just hope it stays above n00b-blogger.net.)

3. Google will make tons of money.

While the majority of bloggers will continue to talk about how much they hate Google due to paid link debates, SERPs fluctuations, or monopolization, it won’t matter. Google will make tons of money, as usual, and laugh about it all the way to the bank.

That’s because all this useless drivel about Google being unfair just reinforces Google’s position as a big business which won’t be challenged by these webmasters who have no business sense. (Google not cracking down on paid links would be like a supermarket owner saying “hello shoplifter, please come in and steal my stuff! I welcome you into my store!”)

4. Shoemoney fights Chuck Liddell

Shoemoney has been posting plenty of UFC stuff on his blog, and this year he’s going all out with the launch of Fighters.com (a social network and other cool stuff for the mixed martial arts community.)

Well, what better publicity stunt for bringing together UFC fans and internet marketers than a charity event where Shoemoney goes in the octagon with Chuck Liddell? Shoe can skip the triathlon this year and focus on the fight. He might as well, I mean, it worked out fine for Rocky Balboa and Hulk Hogan…

5. ZacJohnson.com will take over as the most useful ‘make money online’ blog.

While John Chow’s website will still be popular and attract tons of loyal followers in 2008, people that want to learn something (instead of suck up to someone) will gravitate towards Zac Johnson’s super affiliate blog.

Why? First, he has enough initial publicity and name recognition that he’s believable. Second, he has the fancy blog theme. Third, he writes a lot of useful guides as well as useful tips and tricks. Fourth, he might just be Spiderman.

Believe it or not, those five things will happen in 2008.

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Want to know the fastest way to elevate yourself to guru status? It’s all in the 3D ebook cover. Fake testimonials endorsing you is a close second, but putting your name on a 3D ebook cover (even if you don’t have an actual ebook) is super fast and practically guarantees that you’ll be taken seriously.

Now, after years of needing some graphic design skills, you can make your own 3D ebook cover, totally free. No expensive software, logo designers, or Photoshop skills required! It’s all online in a new Web 2.0 style web app called 3D-Pack.com.

You just upload some flat images and it makes a 3D box you can download. It’s simple enough that any non-guru can use it. I actually used this for a fake software cover in an older blog post which makes a fine example.

Best of all, there are three styles to choose from, so if you want to sell a fake CD-ROM, there’s a graphic for you too.

Just take a look at these serious covers in the gallery:

OK, OK, those were cheesy. This is about the best I could find:

And the rest were porn:

NSFW box 1
NSFW box 2
NSFW box 3
Just Plain Nasty

But whatever you’re selling, now you can be cool and get rich quick just like the gurus! The 3D cover is essential to obtaining guru status, so the sooner you use it, the better.

[2008 update - it looks like they removed the stupid, cheesy ebook covers I was linking to!]

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With 2007 being a breakout year for InternetMarketingSucks.com, one could assume that internet marketing did indeed suck in 2007. The question is, how bad did it suck?

Here’s a rundown of some of the bigger events that occurred:

The MillionDollarWiki launched, got publicity from John Chow and Shoemoney, and made lots of money. Now the site is forgotten.

StumbleUpon got bigger and more popular, and obviously, got more spam. Although my stumbling experience is still enjoyable.

Sphinn launched. Good thing, because Digg sucks.

DealDotCom, a copy of Woot, launched in the internet marketing niche. It sucks.

BlogRush launched… and sucked. But nevertheless, a competitor popped up.

WidgetBucks launched, got praised and criticized, but finally paid out.

Then after all that, Joel Comm revealed it to the masses. A couple months late, but what do you expect, as we also found out about his sites that employ what some may call “dubious” Adsense placement tactics.

All the while, Google dished out penalties to anyone that was trying to make money with their site using anything other than Adsense. TLA really got hit hard. Google also screwed with David Airey a number of times.

No wonder Google gets a bad rap.

AuctionAds went to shit. Then ShoppingAds launched. And people were smart enough to avoid it.

To top things off, I’m still getting link exchange emails like it’s 1999.

That’s not even all the stuff that sucked, so I guess 2007 did suck quite a bit!

What do you think was the worst part?

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As if the Million Dollar Wiki wasn’t bad enough on its own, a bajillion knockoffs have since popped up, including the Million Euro Wiki, 5 Buck Wiki, One Buck Wiki, Quarter Wiki, I.O.U. Wiki, Peso Wiki, Barter Wiki, and the most shocking of all, the First Born Child Wiki. The trend is really absurd and hopefully dead (which is likely, because the Million Dollar Wiki is now valued at about $10,000, nowhere near the “million” it claimed…)

But just when I thought we were in the clear, some genius got the bright idea to bring back the dreaded pixel advertising site. Yes, a new knockoff of the Million Dollar Homepage has arrived. It’s not exactly taking the internet by storm, but the aforementioned genius is doing enough advertising to catch my attention (i.e. piss me off.)

The funny part though is this one is called BlogClutter. I guess it’s supposed to be a niche version for bloggers, but the “clutter” part is what gets me. Take a look at the site…

Where’s the clutter?!

Other than the header logo, the site is clean, organized, and clutter free!

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It’s been too long since the first post of the “I Tell It Like It Is” Series, which sure got some people fired up. If you’re not sure what’s going on, read that post along with this - basically I’m talking about bloggers who don’t know what they’re talking about.

And tonight we’re looking at the blogger I have dubbed “the viagra blogger” due to this post about the previously named pill.

Here’s what he says:

People often tend to feel ashamed talking about sex, but there is no need to be. Especially if you have an ED, Erectile Dysfunction. Erectile Dysfunction is a condition where the person is unable to develop or maintain a hard erection.

Yeah right! ED is like a web host with 0% uptime. And no one will stand for that. Be ashamed, be very ashamed!

I mean, your most important body part won’t function properly. What could be worse?

But if it happened to me, the first thing I’d do is move to one of the 100 best places for a woman over 35 to find a man.

If they’re over 35 and haven’t found anyone, chances are they have some problems that even Viagra can’t take care of. If so, they might be willing to settle for me. The granny pictured above totally wants me though, so there might be a cat fight.

And if there was, I would blog about it. Something like “ITILII #3: Sexy Older Women Mud Wrestling.” That would bring in the traffic.

Oh yeah… that reminds me, we were supposed to be talking about blogging from the beginning. Here we go…

Top bloggers. They make lots of money by telling others how much money they make. And we take it all in.

And that will continue for a while. This dude has 7 reasons why they will fall from the throne, but none of them are worth thinking about. “It’s time consuming” for example. Top bloggers are barely writing the posts anymore. They just collect the ReviewMe checks and let others guest post. Or they write super fast ramblings with horrible grammar, which can’t take all that long.

Also, “people are smarter.” Um… last time I checked, the “gurus” are still scamming newbies. And as long as newbies are still looking for the get-rich-quick solutions to make money at home in their pajamas, all authority figures will be reaping the rewards.

Just one more and I’m done… “readership is falling.” Not long ago Shoemoney and John Chow had an RSS subscriber count contest, and both blogs really increased their numbers. I might be wrong, but I don’t think a huge increase in readership counts as “readership is falling.”

I could go on, but I think you get the point…

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If you’re pulling in big Adsense checks like Shoemoney and showing them off, you could be exposing private bank account information! That is, if you are blurring out your personal information.

In a simple 4 step process, computer hackers with nothing better to do could re-create the check image with their mathematical formulas and determine what you’re hiding. It’s like they’re traveling back in time to see what the check said before it was blurred! (OK, so it’s nowhere near as cool as time travel, but if these people could travel through time they wouldn’t need to do little stunts like these…)

Put simply, some people might actually spend hours “unblurring” blurred images. I guess it’s a safer version of spelunking (aka cave exploration) and the true numbers are their version of buried treasure. If it wasn’t for fun activities like watching paint dry or watching the grass grow, I’d probably take up this “unblurring” sport myself.

Just think of all the blurred Adsense screenshots you could look at!

Now down to business… what can you do to protect yourself?

If you’re actually worried, you might want to “cut” the data out of your screenshots and images. For example, you could “layer via cut” in Photoshop then fill the empty area with the color bucket. Maybe even put “F&#! you” under the blur in case anyone tries to figure out your home address.

Of course, these counter-measures require time that could be better spent watching paint dry!

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The other day I came across a Squidoo lens all about these new web apps that are basically free replacements for your typical computer software. Whoever did the list must be awesome. (Ok I admit it, I wrote it…)

Since Squidoo was overrun by spammers and subsequently bitch slapped by Google, I figured why not add to it and post the list here?

So here goes:

 

Operating Systems

Yes, there are entire operating systems you can run over the web (or download for free.)

Ubuntu
A free, Linux-driven OS. It’s a great base for a low-cost or non-Microsoft system.

Eye OS
Access your “desktop” from anywhere.

Nivio
Like running Windows from your browser!

Desktop on Demand
Lots of apps, just like your desktop OS.

 

Office Suites and Apps

No need to shell out for Microsoft Office anymore. These free tools get the job done.

Zoho
Zoho is a web-based office suite.

Google Docs
Includes word processing and spreadsheet software, with the possibility of presentation software, too.

Open Office
This is one you have to download, making it very similar to Microsoft Office… but it’s free. Great for Linux users.

Think Free
A full-featured, online office suite.

 

Finance

From personal finance to billing, there are interesting online apps to get you started. 100% cheaper than Quickbooks!

Wesabe
A full-featured financial package to track your finances. It even integrates with your bank account.

DimeWise
DimeWise lets you budget and keep track of all your expenses.

NetWorthIQ
Track your finances and net worth, and even compare them to other companies who are using the service.

Fresh Books
An easy way to bill clients online.

InstaCalc
Online calculator that works instantly.

Calcoolate
Cool online calculator.

 

Sales and Marketing

Making it easier to separate people from their money.

Veetro
Offers project management and sales functions, such as lead tracking and customer support.

Qoop
Create logo merchandise, such as calendars, the easy way. (A bit more advanced than CafePress.)

 

Email

No need for Outlook anymore. There are a number of free email clients, and some of them have more features than Outlook.

Gmail
Google’s version of email. The best, IMHO.

Google Calendar
Integrate this with Gmail and it blows away Outlook’s calendar.

Yahoo Mail
Now with unlimited storage.

Yahoo Calendar
Integrate this with Yahoo Mail.

Thunderbird
A free email client you can download and run on your computer or server. From the people that brought you Firefox!

 

Web Browsing

Internet Explorer sucks.

Firefox
Browse the web with Firefox, it’s better and safer.

 

Online Radio

What kind of business doesn’t have a radio playing in the front office? But if your local FM radio station just doesn’t cut it, try this.

Pandora
Your own personal radio station with song recommendations and more.

 

Networking

When you can’t attend the local mixers or big conferences, keep in touch online.

Linked In
It’s like Myspace and Facebook, but for entrepreneurs and business professionals.

 

Collaboration

Work together while you’re apart.

Meebo
The do-it-all instant messenger.

Basecamp
An online collaboration tool from the great guys at 37Signals.

Concept Share
Collaborate in real-time without messing up the original document.

 

Security

This stuff will come in handy, especially if you spend your days on warez or pr0n sites!

AVG Anti-Virus
A free anti-virus software.

Spybot
Get rid of spyware.

 

Video Editing

You have to be on YouTube. And to do that, you’ll need some nice-looking video.

JumpCut
Edit in your browser.

Motion Box
Full-featured online video editing.

 

Photo Editing

Flauntr
A simple but powerful online photo editor.

 

Photo Storage

Flickr
The place to store and display your photos.

 

Computer Backup

Mozy
Free 2GB of storage space through an easy-to-use control panel that allows automatic backups.

Xdrive
Your own online storage for private storage or file sharing.

Gspace
Turn your Gmail account into a virtual hard drive.

 

File Synchronization

BeInSync
Sync your files between 2 computers, share up to 5 folders, and backup up to 1 GB of data.

 

There you go, a total of 37 free pieces of software!

Quick, Pop Quiz!

Why did I go to the effort of posting this list?

(a) To help you save money.
(b) Just cause I’m nice.
(c) Gurus are great and I’ve decided to quit making fun of them.
(d) Because it gave me a great place to weave in some affiliate links so I can make bank.

Once you’ve made your choice, post it in a comment below and we’ll see how many people get it right!

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