With the whole Blog Action Day thing taking over the blogosphere today, I can’t help but wonder how the promoters expect to reach the internet marketing crowd. Internet marketers surely control a majority of the blogosphere, and a bunch of them signed-up to take part in this long before I even heard of it.

But Blog Action Day, Greenpeace, The Nature Conservancy, National Wildlife Federation, The Sierra Club, and The Conservation Fund are all missing the long sales letters with bold fonts and yellow highlights. And we all know that’s the only way to make sales.

So I decided to write a sample sales letter template that they can try out, and here it is:

Who Else Would Like To Make An Extra $500 A Month Doing Nothing?

From the desk of Ms. Nature
October 15, 2007

Dear Friend,

It’s entirely possible to make $500 or more in just a few minutes a day. Better yet, do a few minutes of work and get paid for it forever! You won’t have to work again once you implement the system!

What’s the system, you ask?

This is no ordinary system. It’s a proprietary development we have code named “The Eco System.” Or TES for short, because that sounds cool.

It’s so cool that our members spend most of their time relaxing on sandy beaches, hiking in lush rain forests, and enjoying fresh, clean air. When they feel adventurous, they explore the polar ice caps and pet polar bears.

Want to join this elite group? Then get started today, because space is limited!

Not sure yet? Here’s some proof that we’re not total liars:

Holy crap man! That’s all I can say, as I’m totally in awe of this product. It’s a big deal. - Alan

Here’s exactly what you get when you sign-up today:

• A comfortable climate
• Preserved forest lands
• Fewer toxic chemicals

So let me ask you this… Do you want to settle for a life of wasting money, $24/gallon gasoline, smog, extinct animals, disease-ridden commercial farms, and landfills in your back yard?

Or do you want to be a healthy, wealthy, and wise DotCom Mogul?

If so, click here to get started now!

Hopefully that brings in some donations

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There was a little buzz around Smorty, a PayPerPost-type service, so I figured I’d sign-up and test it out. (Plus, I had been rejected by PayPerPost anyway, since I didn’t display monthly archive links…)

Then I checked the rules and they have “over 25 criteria” that they look for before accepting your blog. Pretty strict, but I thought this blog (live for 2 years, multiple posts per week, etc) was pretty good.

Well… they did not!

Since I have my blog at http://internetmarketingsucks.com/blog/ instead of at the root URL http://internetmarketingsucks.com/, it was declined.

I guess it would have been fine at http://mylameblog.blogspot.com (according to some other bloggers that use Smorty,) but my URL choice wasn’t good enough. The fact that my blog is just one of the many beautiful sections of my website means that Smorty is just missing out.

Regardless, what a lame policy. I encourage everyone to boycott Smorty because of it.

Why the boycott? Because having a lame policy is a great reason to boycott them!

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Akismet is great because it blocks spam, but spam is fairly easy to recognize because a lot of it is the same.

But spam comments aren’t the only thing bloggers need to watch out for…

You’re always at risk for stupid comments. Is there any way to avoid them?

Whether the comment is useless, self-promotional, totally off-topic, inappropriate, or just plain stupid, I’d prefer not to deal with it. I’d rather spend time reading the worthwhile comments from those who actually read my blog post.

This is exactly why I did not add a “Top Commentators” plugin. That’s just another reason for people to leave random comments in hopes of being listed based on sheer number of comments.

So, I put my own Top Commentators section in the sidebar, based on who I think are the top commentators. You’ll get listed on there for leaving quality comments. Well, whatever comments I like will make it. And I’ll link to the author from that section of my sidebar. And it will rotate as I see fit.

Hopefully this will encourage more comments but keep everything high quality!

As long as it doesn’t increase stupid comments, though, I’ll be happy!

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October 15th is Blog Action Day. What that is, is a day when every participating blogger will write a post about the environment, so the outcome is:

One issue. One day. Thousands of voices.

And I like the environment almost as much as I hate internet gurus, so I’ll be taking part. You should too

(What’s in it for you? A link on the participants page.)

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BlogRush has been getting a ton of press, most likely because John Reese started it. But, like most things in internet marketing life, it didn’t live up to the hype.

Here is the truth:

• BlogRush Dead On Arrival
• BlogRush Stats at ProBlogger
• Don’t Waste Your Time With BlogRush
• Could BlogRush Resell Your Data?
• The Ultimate BlogRush Exploit Guide
• Blogrush isn’t a Pyramid Scheme it’s a Ponzi Scheme
• A-List Bloggers Making Excuses For BlogRush
• Blogrush promoting porn sites?

It seems all that buzz went to waste…

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I got an email yesterday about this new software called Comment Sniper. That name sounded pretty interesting, especially after reading about how being the first comment on a blog post can be better than being on the Top Commentators list in the sidebar.

Comment Sniper offers you a way to build targeted, valuable, strong and lasting traffic to your website at no cost, by tapping into the first mover advantage of blog comment posting. And… now, for a limited time only, you can download this $47 fully functional application Completely FREE with no strings attached.

I haven’t tested this yet, but it actually sounds alright. It is one of those “$47 value” products that you can get for free (after giving them your email, that is,) but it is still real software; if it works, it could be quite useful! I’m impressed!

I just thought I’d point it out to my lovely readers so you can take advantage of the “first commentator advantage”

Note: You’ll need to use a real email address so you can get the activation key for the download.

(And just post a comment if you want me to do a complete review of this software.)

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44 entries total! Whew, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into!

But I trudged through them all in one sitting and the result is below. I judged based on creativity/uniqueness, writing style, and usefulness of the how-to.

I considered grammar slightly, although since it’s a blog, I wasn’t too worried about how good you right

Without further ado, here are my 3 picks:

1) How-To Guide: Increasing Your Sphere of Influence
This is a guide for realtors to get some publicity, but I think the lessons could be applied by internet marketers as well

2) How To Prepare For The Perfect Date
If you actually waste your time reading this blog, chances are you have too much free time. Time which could be better spent going out on a date!

3) How To Nail That Job Interview In The First Thirty Seconds
This post is great, but not because it will help you get a job (who wants a job?!) It’s great because, if you were going to an interview to have a little fun, it gives you some good jokes to use so you can be thrown out!

It was a hard choice since I found about 15-20 posts that I really liked, but I had to narrow it down, so I picked the ones that would fit well with Internet Marketing Sucks readers.

But I just have to list my honorable mentions:

Eating Crow - I love creative writing.

Make Your Wordpress Blog Safer - VERY important with all those internet marketing sleaze balls out there.

How To Be A Flamer - Some good tips to get started, but flaming is an art form and can’t be mastered just by reading a blog post.

Romance Your Blog - Romance wisdom, as applied to your blog.

Tracking RSS Subscribers in Google Analytics - A very nice illustration of a great idea (since Shoemoney was a little light on the details.)

How to Review a Blog - As much as I hate Blogger blogs, this was a nice comprehensive guide.

Lock Folders Without Using Special Software - Just a neat trick.

How to Successfully Switch Your WordPress Theme Without Throwing Your Computer Through the Window - Frustrating indeed.

How to Deal With Angry Customers - Gurus should take heed.

I never seen such good righting skillz! Good luck to everyone in the contest!

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