No Cures for Major Diseases Expected Any Time in the Near Future as Scientists Adopt Four-Hour Workweek

The recent Trends in Endocrinology: Translational Research symposium held in Berlin, Germany was quite the eye-opener in many ways. There, scientists’ biggest discovery was not under the lens of a microscope but rather in the pages of New York Times bestseller The 4-Hour Workweek.

The book, a favorite of Internet marketers everywhere, was brought to the conference by Dr. Rory B. Wang, who describes himself as “first and foremost, a free thinker” on his LinkedIn profile. Concepts of the book, which include starting up an easy-to-maintain Internet business and outsourcing all work to overseas virtual assistants for $5 an hour, were discussed and debated. (Typically, scientists work 60 hours or more a week with some menial tasks being pushed off on surly lab assistants.) The official conclusion? That the hypotheses presented within the text were “certainly worth a try.”

And that is what has sent scientists scrambling to marketing coaches in recent weeks. Many are currently in search of their USP (unique selling proposition) as well as their niche market to serve. Coach Mary Radwinkel explains:

“The problem with these scientists is that they have been too laser-focused in their prospective fields with no extracurricular interests to speak of that we can zero in on as another area of expertise. As a result, they’re presenting me with some pretty geeky ideas.”

One of these “geeky ideas,” Radwinkel says, is Dr. Jane Pennywhistle’s laboratory mice enterprise. Dr. Pennywhistle feels that raising lab mice at home is “great for stay-at-home moms!” Their care requires just a few hours a week as the rodents are very intelligent and can be taught to self-administer their food pellets by depressing a lever with their tiny paws. Dr. Pennywhistle will be specializing in the so-called “knockout” mice, which have had a specific gene removed or deleted—in this case, the WD-40 gene, which stops the mice from squeaking.

“I’m concerned about the implications of so many scientists walking away from their jobs,” Coach Radwinkel confided. “To tell you the truth, I myself am interested in what’s up the pike in terms of the next wave of liposuction.”

And no one knows what industry will be affected by The 4-Hour Workweek buzz next. Will traffic congestion in New York City become a thing of the past as taxi drivers cut services to just four hours per week? Some mail carriers have also been spotted at Barnes & Noble purchasing the tome. What the overall impact of a spontaneously vacationing workforce is on our society remains to be seen, and we at Real News will be following the trend closely.

photo: istockphoto.com

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