Jun
PERKY TIME MANAGEMENT COACH “ACCIDENTALLY” BREAKS SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM
Armed only with the scant knowledge of quantum physics that one can take in by skimming the texts of Deepak Chopra, high-energy time management coach Sally Squireton has caused damage to the space-time continuum, NASA officials say.
Squireton, also an amateur alchemist shaman, says she was only trying to help her clients - many of whom say there simply aren’t enough hours in a day to accomplish everything on their to-do lists.
“This is an extremely willful and selfish individual,” NASA spokesperson Remy Hodge said of Squireton. “There are laws that don’t even exist yet that she blatantly disregarded.”
Squireton is perhaps best known for having self-published the wildly popular ebook “WIIFM?” (What’s In It for Me?). Her follow-up book, “WIIFFMC?” (What’s In It for Fluffy, My Cat?), has been experiencing lackluster sales, however. Some believe the desperate e-author may have purposely manipulated the natural laws as a publicity stunt.
“This woman has ADD - Attention Diva Disorder,” said a source close to Squireton who declined to be identified. “Even though she claims to be a vegetarian, every year you can find her at the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest scarfing down wieners just for a chance to be on TV.”
Fortunately, the four-dimensional damage is reportedly minimal with only pockets of the population of Anchorage, Alaska temporarily thrown back to the year 1985. However, as the 80s have made a comeback, few have noticed the change and some have even been enjoying Hall & Oates concerts. NASA officials are confident that these individuals will be brought back to 2008 with just a few small adjustments involving complicated metrics, an egg timer and elbow grease.
Squireton remains free on bail.
Photo credit: http2007
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Click here to buy me a beer, because damn, I need to get drunk to forget how much internet marketing sucks!
Most people don’t know this, but I actually bought What’s In It for Fluffy, My Cat? and it has helped my pet toys e-commerce site tremendously!
Aha! The above comment is obviously made by a pal of the beleaguered Squireton, still pushing that damn ebook
nice tittle ! lol.
“This woman has ADD - Attention Diva Disorder,” .. just cracks me up
LMAO!!! So funny!! The ADD comment and the Nathans hot dog eating contest comment… I love it! I watch that every year, I will have to watch for her this year!HaHa!
Don’t you think you’re being a bit too harsh on Squireton? I mean; her idea was good. Wouldn’t we all want more time in the day (to sleep)? Granted; her follow-through was a bit crappy, but then again NASA is not perfect either and maybe the people of Anchorage actually like Hall & Oates?
the title did made me read it again and again to understand what actually you meant?? lol
nice title
“the title did made me read it again and again to understand what actually you meant?? lol”
I like to use as many words in my titles as possible. The next one should have 18 words.
Nice article! It is so funny and interesting. lol!
The title made me confused also and wonder! Anyway, thanks for sharing that story, it’s funny.
Title made me to learn this blog. But, it has not disappointed me…
I consider Peter Drucker as the real guru on time management. Anyone must try reading Peter Druker’s books.
The only Drucker I know of is Sam Drucker, the proprietor of the Hooterville General Store…
My human bought “What’s In It for Fluffy, My Cat?” but she’s too lazy to apply any these insightfully insightful insights to monetizing my blog. I’d do it, but I’m scared of cats… and I can’t read for that matter.
This is pretty funny! good stuff!
lol! nice title. Thank’s a lot.
Ouch, its pretty funny.