It’s been too long since the first post of the “I Tell It Like It Is” Series, which sure got some people fired up. If you’re not sure what’s going on, read that post along with this - basically I’m talking about bloggers who don’t know what they’re talking about.

And tonight we’re looking at the blogger I have dubbed “the viagra blogger” due to this post about the previously named pill.

Here’s what he says:

People often tend to feel ashamed talking about sex, but there is no need to be. Especially if you have an ED, Erectile Dysfunction. Erectile Dysfunction is a condition where the person is unable to develop or maintain a hard erection.

Yeah right! ED is like a web host with 0% uptime. And no one will stand for that. Be ashamed, be very ashamed!

I mean, your most important body part won’t function properly. What could be worse?

But if it happened to me, the first thing I’d do is move to one of the 100 best places for a woman over 35 to find a man.

If they’re over 35 and haven’t found anyone, chances are they have some problems that even Viagra can’t take care of. If so, they might be willing to settle for me. The granny pictured above totally wants me though, so there might be a cat fight.

And if there was, I would blog about it. Something like “ITILII #3: Sexy Older Women Mud Wrestling.” That would bring in the traffic.

Oh yeah… that reminds me, we were supposed to be talking about blogging from the beginning. Here we go…

Top bloggers. They make lots of money by telling others how much money they make. And we take it all in.

And that will continue for a while. This dude has 7 reasons why they will fall from the throne, but none of them are worth thinking about. “It’s time consuming” for example. Top bloggers are barely writing the posts anymore. They just collect the ReviewMe checks and let others guest post. Or they write super fast ramblings with horrible grammar, which can’t take all that long.

Also, “people are smarter.” Um… last time I checked, the “gurus” are still scamming newbies. And as long as newbies are still looking for the get-rich-quick solutions to make money at home in their pajamas, all authority figures will be reaping the rewards.

Just one more and I’m done… “readership is falling.” Not long ago Shoemoney and John Chow had an RSS subscriber count contest, and both blogs really increased their numbers. I might be wrong, but I don’t think a huge increase in readership counts as “readership is falling.”

I could go on, but I think you get the point…

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I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of one person that’s happy with their cell phone service provider or their long distance carrier. You just go on with life (with your fingers crossed) hoping you never have to deal with them.

But sometimes people just complain about them because it’s so common. So why not ease up on AT&T and cast your glance at someone that deserves it - Pay-Per-Click Ad Agencies!

That’s right, Google, Yahoo, MSN, Ask, and all the others. Here’s why:

3. Keyword Restrictions

Whenever I call up an old buddy of mine, I regularly swear and use profanity. No one cares. I also talk about Nike, Adidas, eBay, Amazon, and many other trademarked brand names. No big deal. And my extensive slang… no problemo.

But have you ever used certain four letter words in an Adwords ad? Or bid on a trademarked name? Or used poor grammar and vocabulary?

If so, they probably disapproved your campaigns, banned your account, or sent your personal details over to the trademark attorneys.

2. Coupons and vouchers are only good for first-time customers.

Don’t you just hate seeing those offers for “$100 in Free Clicks!” that are only available for new publishers?

It’s kind of like the “all the long distance calls you want for $1.99 per month (for the first 2 days)” that you get from the phone company. But let’s say you get a new house with a new phone number - your new address means you are eligible for the deal once again.

(And sometimes if you call them and beg nicely, they’ll give out special treatment to long-time customers.)

But let’s say you start a new website and start new PPC campaigns for it. Do you get anything for it? Any good deals? NO! The PPC companies will keep screwing you until you start a new company with a new Tax ID number (and therefore can start a second advertiser account.)

To make things worse, there are sites that list all these vouchers. Even with third tier search engines. I get pissed at Adwords even more whenever I see that list!

1. You Can’t Bitch Someone Out

What’s the first thing you do when you see some extra charges tacked onto your bill? If you’re like me, you call up customer service and promptly bitch out every representative that picks up the phone. (Being rational is not something I like to do.)

There’s just something satisfying about yelling at helpless underpaid customer service reps. Yelling at their manager is great, too. Especially when the charges were all your fault to begin with.

But have you ever done that to Google? Called them up and said “Yo G, I can’t f&@$ believe this quality score $2*$&*$@!! What’s up with dat?”

Chances are your answer is “No.” That’s because you can’t talk to a real person at Google. So you have to go flame them on the message boards. And that is nowhere near as much fun.

* Note that you should still hate your phone company, but hate Adwords too.

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If you’re pulling in big Adsense checks like Shoemoney and showing them off, you could be exposing private bank account information! That is, if you are blurring out your personal information.

In a simple 4 step process, computer hackers with nothing better to do could re-create the check image with their mathematical formulas and determine what you’re hiding. It’s like they’re traveling back in time to see what the check said before it was blurred! (OK, so it’s nowhere near as cool as time travel, but if these people could travel through time they wouldn’t need to do little stunts like these…)

Put simply, some people might actually spend hours “unblurring” blurred images. I guess it’s a safer version of spelunking (aka cave exploration) and the true numbers are their version of buried treasure. If it wasn’t for fun activities like watching paint dry or watching the grass grow, I’d probably take up this “unblurring” sport myself.

Just think of all the blurred Adsense screenshots you could look at!

Now down to business… what can you do to protect yourself?

If you’re actually worried, you might want to “cut” the data out of your screenshots and images. For example, you could “layer via cut” in Photoshop then fill the empty area with the color bucket. Maybe even put “F&#! you” under the blur in case anyone tries to figure out your home address.

Of course, these counter-measures require time that could be better spent watching paint dry!

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