You have a chance to win $100… if you entered the latest group writing project! If not, well, too bad. Better luck next time!

But you might want to drown your sorrows by reading some of these cool blog posts that should win something:

List Of Why Blogs Are A Female Gender by Domtan – Hahaha I was laughing just at the thought of this post. Number 1 in my book, for sure.

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share – Funny stuff and it must have taken a long time to compile. BTW, I’m currently looking for someone fitting this description: “I am great with the pubic.”

10 Life Lessons Learned While Camping by Ad Tracker – This needs no explanation… anyone that has been camping knows that funny things are bound to happen. (And a perfectly toasted marshmallow is truly a thing of beauty!)

5 Things That I Believe To Be Lies by Krizza – Next to flat out humor, exposing lies is one of my hot spots.

I’d vote for more, but then these four wouldn’t feel so special!

OK OK… I’m lazy!

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Converting a Photoshop image to a coded web page is kind of like using chop sticks – pretty freaking hard if you’ve never done it before. That’s why I love the name “PSD Chopstick” for a service that turns your PSD file into a standards-compliant, coded web page.

I also love PSD Chopstick because they have an affiliate program that pays a cool $29 for each referral! So if you place an order, I just nabbed $29!

Want to nab $29 for yourself? It’s simple. Just find some graphic designers that don’t know jack about building a proper website and pitch them this idea:

Hey Bobby, I saw you selling yourself short in some design contest, and since I genuinely like to help others even if I get nothing in return, I thought I’d take the time out of my busy schedule to let you know about this cool service I found.

It’s called PSD Chopstick, and if you send them a PSD file, they will turn it into a coded web page.

What could you do with that? Well, let’s say you do a design for $200. Then your client has to get it coded somewhere, probably paying someone another $100 or $200. Instead, you do your design, get it coded for $129, then sell it to your client for $500. It’s like creating an extra $171 from nothing, just by saving the client some hassle.

Now I know this tip is great and could lead to thousands upon thousands of dollars in added revenue for you, but all I want in return is the feeling of satisfaction from helping someone!

Oh yeah, here’s the link: www.psdchopstick.com

In case you didn’t notice, there are two very important parts to that pitch.

1) Emphasize how great of an idea it is for them and how you aren’t getting anything from it.
2) Add your affiliate link in there every chance you get.

It’s just a little fib, it’s not like it’s a lie…

OK, it’s a total lie, but how else do you expect to make money online?

Now that your pitch is ready, we’ll move on to the PSD Chopstick sales material…

See, your own sleazy tactics only go so far. Once you get the click, it’s up to the merchant to seal the deal. So before I promote a merchant, I analyze their sales process on my patented Sales Process Sleaziness Scale (SPSS for short.) The scale goes from 1 (couldn’t sell water in the desert) to 10 (could sell buckets of sand in the desert.) A merchant needs at least a 5 to pass.

Let’s look at PSD Chopstick:

Testimonials. Check. You have to have testimonials on your site, because to the visitor, that means someone else got suckered into buying this, so even if it sucks, they won’t feel so bad about buying it.

3D e-cover. Nowhere to be seen. That’s too bad, because even though they aren’t selling an ebook, they could make a little portfolio of “before” and “after” screenshots. The first would be the PSD, and the second would be the website they built. The graphics would be virtually identical, but it gives them a chance to impress visitors with 3D graphics, reflections, and drop shadows.

Hidden ways to make extra money. Check. Just take a look at their web hosting page, which recommends HostGator. Their HostGator link is “http://hostwithhostgator.com/” which is almost guaranteed to redirect through their HostGator affiliate link. Not only does this bump them up on the sleaziness scale, it shows they’re smart enough to diversify their revenue sources.

Huge order button. Nope. Just a simple form that does NOT scream “click here and give me all your money!!!” Too bad.

Catering to stupid people. Check. They sell Blogger themes for $209. Anyone paying $209 for a Blogger theme qualifies as stupid! (Not that I dislike Blogger or anything…)

Pricing. It’s good. They’re the cheapest I’ve seen and look very professional. There are other services that do the same thing but sound more complicated and are more expensive.

Overall… they get a 6.5 on the SPSS scale. Good enough for me

If it’s good enough for you, take a look at PSD Chopstick. And sign-up for the affiliate program while you’re at it, so you can use the pitch I gave you!

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The other day I came across a Squidoo lens all about these new web apps that are basically free replacements for your typical computer software. Whoever did the list must be awesome. (Ok I admit it, I wrote it…)

Since Squidoo was overrun by spammers and subsequently bitch slapped by Google, I figured why not add to it and post the list here?

So here goes:

 

Operating Systems

Yes, there are entire operating systems you can run over the web (or download for free.)

Ubuntu
A free, Linux-driven OS. It’s a great base for a low-cost or non-Microsoft system.

Eye OS
Access your “desktop” from anywhere.

Nivio
Like running Windows from your browser!

Desktop on Demand
Lots of apps, just like your desktop OS.

 

Office Suites and Apps

No need to shell out for Microsoft Office anymore. These free tools get the job done.

Zoho
Zoho is a web-based office suite.

Google Docs
Includes word processing and spreadsheet software, with the possibility of presentation software, too.

Open Office
This is one you have to download, making it very similar to Microsoft Office… but it’s free. Great for Linux users.

Think Free
A full-featured, online office suite.

 

Finance

From personal finance to billing, there are interesting online apps to get you started. 100% cheaper than Quickbooks!

Wesabe
A full-featured financial package to track your finances. It even integrates with your bank account.

DimeWise
DimeWise lets you budget and keep track of all your expenses.

NetWorthIQ
Track your finances and net worth, and even compare them to other companies who are using the service.

Fresh Books
An easy way to bill clients online.

InstaCalc
Online calculator that works instantly.

Calcoolate
Cool online calculator.

 

Sales and Marketing

Making it easier to separate people from their money.

Veetro
Offers project management and sales functions, such as lead tracking and customer support.

Qoop
Create logo merchandise, such as calendars, the easy way. (A bit more advanced than CafePress.)

 

Email

No need for Outlook anymore. There are a number of free email clients, and some of them have more features than Outlook.

Gmail
Google’s version of email. The best, IMHO.

Google Calendar
Integrate this with Gmail and it blows away Outlook’s calendar.

Yahoo Mail
Now with unlimited storage.

Yahoo Calendar
Integrate this with Yahoo Mail.

Thunderbird
A free email client you can download and run on your computer or server. From the people that brought you Firefox!

 

Web Browsing

Internet Explorer sucks.

Firefox
Browse the web with Firefox, it’s better and safer.

 

Online Radio

What kind of business doesn’t have a radio playing in the front office? But if your local FM radio station just doesn’t cut it, try this.

Pandora
Your own personal radio station with song recommendations and more.

 

Networking

When you can’t attend the local mixers or big conferences, keep in touch online.

Linked In
It’s like Myspace and Facebook, but for entrepreneurs and business professionals.

 

Collaboration

Work together while you’re apart.

Meebo
The do-it-all instant messenger.

Basecamp
An online collaboration tool from the great guys at 37Signals.

Concept Share
Collaborate in real-time without messing up the original document.

 

Security

This stuff will come in handy, especially if you spend your days on warez or pr0n sites!

AVG Anti-Virus
A free anti-virus software.

Spybot
Get rid of spyware.

 

Video Editing

You have to be on YouTube. And to do that, you’ll need some nice-looking video.

JumpCut
Edit in your browser.

Motion Box
Full-featured online video editing.

 

Photo Editing

Flauntr
A simple but powerful online photo editor.

 

Photo Storage

Flickr
The place to store and display your photos.

 

Computer Backup

Mozy
Free 2GB of storage space through an easy-to-use control panel that allows automatic backups.

Xdrive
Your own online storage for private storage or file sharing.

Gspace
Turn your Gmail account into a virtual hard drive.

 

File Synchronization

BeInSync
Sync your files between 2 computers, share up to 5 folders, and backup up to 1 GB of data.

 

There you go, a total of 37 free pieces of software!

Quick, Pop Quiz!

Why did I go to the effort of posting this list?

(a) To help you save money.
(b) Just cause I’m nice.
(c) Gurus are great and I’ve decided to quit making fun of them.
(d) Because it gave me a great place to weave in some affiliate links so I can make bank.

Once you’ve made your choice, post it in a comment below and we’ll see how many people get it right!

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Believe it or not, there are other things out there that suck. It’s not just internet marketing. And even better, there are other cynics out there to point out how everything sucks!

“Me” at Sucky Startups is one of those cynics who oh so cleverly points out new startups that suck. I’m a big fan, because these startups are either run by internet marketers or stupid people (although both those categories can apply to the same person.)

If you like Internet Marketing Sucks but crave more, you might want to add Sucky Startups to your list of blogs to read. It’s specialty seems to be new sites that have the web 2.0 look, but they don’t have anything else…

My favorite post so far is probably the one about BiddingBuddies, a social network for – go read the post to find out!

Seriously, it’s good stuff. And it sucks at the same time!

Oh, and if that’s not enough, try Stupid Business Ideas. It sucks too!

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WidgetBucks has been in the headlines since the day of its launch. There was A LOT of positive press, especially in the beginning, from the cool looking widgets to the great payouts.

For example, Zac Johnson blogged about it and Sean of WidgetBucks even stopped by to comment. And as with any opportunity to make more money, John Chow promoted it.

A little bit of positive press too:

• WidgetBucks Top Performer (WidgetBucks generating some buzz about huge revenues)
• Earnings Update (Earnings screenshots… hmm I thought this was not allowed based on their terms…)

But the buzz couldn’t last forever…

Especially with a Google penalty!

So here’s the negativity:

• Screw you and your terms (WidgetBucks is way too greedy. They’ll probably claim rights to your first born child.)
• A 0.04% CTR is click fraud? (WidgetBucks is not your friend.)
• The truth comes out (straight from the horse’s mouth)
• WidgetBucks Is Run By Monkeys
• Widget Sucks (catchy domain name lol)

Did I mention the forums are going crazy about the suspensions? (i.e. WidgetBucks is scamming publishers out of lots of money)

• WidgetBucks takes back $1400
• No US traffic? You’re screwed.
• Which network sucks less?
• Their generic email about fraudulent activity.
• There’s no money in WidgetBucks
• You call this an explanation?
• Jumping through hoops
• They think my site is pr0n
• In the red

If you’re still hungry for more, try the WidgetBucks review blog. Or the official WidgetBucks blog, which is full of negative comments from publishers!

In light of all this, I think the best thing to do would be to click my affiliate link, join WidgetBucks, and hope that they screw you out of money so you can be part of all this fun! (which will only get more exciting when checks are supposed to go out…)

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Who saw the 20+ Places for Public Domain E-books at Mashable?

It could just as easily be titled 20+ Places To Find Content You Can Sell As Your Own, Doing Nothing More Than Making A 3D Ebook Cover For It!

That would really be catering to the sleazy internet marketers! (You know, the ones who seem to get away with breaking the rules.)

Of course, you can use the information for good instead of evil. Perhaps to expand your knowledge or enjoy a nice novel.

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Ever had trouble explaining your job to friends and acquaintances?

It’s easy for spammers, because everyone can relate to getting screwed over by them, whether it’s a casual email user or a professional blogger. But if you are using affiliate programs and doing PPC marketing, things can be a little more complicated.

So you have to put PPC affiliate marketing into terms that the general population can understand. Just like this…

• Your keywords get you to the bar. They let you mingle, and circulate around the room. They allow you to see and be seen, where the people are.
• Your ads are your pickup line. It’s your introduction. Your chance to make a first impression, and to create an action.
• Your landing page seals the deal. It gets the number. It takes the person home. Whatever you consider a successful pick up.

That’s a great strategy, although with most things in business, you need to adapt it to your needs, put in some hard work, and think outside the box. (Or at least have a Web 2.0 style logo.)

[Warning: Only 18+ readers should be reading anything about bars and girls.]

So here is my plan:

1. Do keyword research for stuff that girls like.
2. Browse Google for these keywords, keeping a close eye on the headlines used in the PPC ads.
3. Go to the bar, and repeat some of these “call to action” phrases whenever I see a cute girl.
4. When they get intrigued, win them over with some benefits from the landing page.

My first attempt went like this:

1. Searched for what girls like, and I found HowToDoGirls, and one story was about sex and the company picnic.
2. Googled for “company picnic” and found an ad for Philip & Henry magic show productions.
3. Tried to pick up some girls with “Want my illusion to jazz up your party?”
4. Got slapped because my drunken, slurred words came out as “Want to lose jizz when farty?”

I think that was a little too forward…

It’s OK though, because picking up girls at the bar is all about testing. Next time I’ll just try “Want 30 minutes of high-energy entertainment with me?” or “My tricks in bed make everyone laugh!”

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