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Funny Links For Funny Friday (9/21/07)

funny friday logo

Last Friday was “Freebie Friday,” so today is “Funny Friday.”

Every so often I see funny, sarcastic, or at least somewhat interesting posts on some of the other blogs out there. Since I enjoy them, and since you’re brave enough to read Internet Marketing Sucks, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll like these.

So on “Funny Fridays” I’ll round up all the funny posts I’ve seen and list them here.

Without further ado, here is the list for today, 9/21/07:

As if Alexa isn’t bad enough to begin with - Google’s Traffic Drops to Zero According to Alexa!

Dodging Arrows on Sphinn - Another instance where not everyone has a sense of humor.

How Web 2.0 Died - One too many tags and it all came tumbling down.

A Lesson On Corporate Blogging - Be totally F-in Amazing!

Legal Problems: Handwritten Lawsuit Accuses Google Having A Name Similar To Accuser’s Social Security Number

12 Breeds of Client and How to Work with Them - With cartoons!

And if reading all those didn’t make you happy, remember - it’s Friday!!

Sniping Blog Posts With Comment Sniper

comment sniper logo

I got an email yesterday about this new software called Comment Sniper. That name sounded pretty interesting, especially after reading about how being the first comment on a blog post can be better than being on the Top Commentators list in the sidebar.

Comment Sniper offers you a way to build targeted, valuable, strong and lasting traffic to your website at no cost, by tapping into the first mover advantage of blog comment posting. And… now, for a limited time only, you can download this $47 fully functional application Completely FREE with no strings attached.

I haven’t tested this yet, but it actually sounds alright. It is one of those “$47 value” products that you can get for free (after giving them your email, that is,) but it is still real software; if it works, it could be quite useful! I’m impressed!

I just thought I’d point it out to my lovely readers so you can take advantage of the “first commentator advantage” :)

Note: You’ll need to use a real email address so you can get the activation key for the download.

(And just post a comment if you want me to do a complete review of this software.)

3 Bloggers That Right Good And Should Win That There BlueJar Contest

44 entries total! Whew, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into!

But I trudged through them all in one sitting and the result is below. I judged based on creativity/uniqueness, writing style, and usefulness of the how-to.

I considered grammar slightly, although since it’s a blog, I wasn’t too worried about how good you right ;)

Without further ado, here are my 3 picks:

1) How-To Guide: Increasing Your Sphere of Influence
This is a guide for realtors to get some publicity, but I think the lessons could be applied by internet marketers as well :)

2) How To Prepare For The Perfect Date
If you actually waste your time reading this blog, chances are you have too much free time. Time which could be better spent going out on a date!

3) How To Nail That Job Interview In The First Thirty Seconds
This post is great, but not because it will help you get a job (who wants a job?!) It’s great because, if you were going to an interview to have a little fun, it gives you some good jokes to use so you can be thrown out! ;)

It was a hard choice since I found about 15-20 posts that I really liked, but I had to narrow it down, so I picked the ones that would fit well with Internet Marketing Sucks readers.

But I just have to list my honorable mentions:

Eating Crow - I love creative writing.

Make Your Wordpress Blog Safer - VERY important with all those internet marketing sleaze balls out there.

How To Be A Flamer - Some good tips to get started, but flaming is an art form and can’t be mastered just by reading a blog post.

Romance Your Blog - Romance wisdom, as applied to your blog.

Tracking RSS Subscribers in Google Analytics - A very nice illustration of a great idea (since Shoemoney was a little light on the details.)

How to Review a Blog - As much as I hate Blogger blogs, this was a nice comprehensive guide.

Lock Folders Without Using Special Software - Just a neat trick.

How to Successfully Switch Your WordPress Theme Without Throwing Your Computer Through the Window - Frustrating indeed.

How to Deal With Angry Customers - Gurus should take heed.

I never seen such good righting skillz! Good luck to everyone in the contest!

Screwing With Sploggers - Putting An End To The Content Thieves

Have you fallen victim to a splogger? But you’re not getting anywhere by adding links or using RSS feeds to your advantage?

surprised girl

Then it’s time to up the ante a little bit!

This calls for desperate measures, so what you want to do is play a trick on them, using their IP address and someone else’s feed.

This will certainly lead to shock, awe, and surprise, and maybe even suspended hosting accounts!

Read the SEO Black Hat post first for full details…

Then open your .htaccess file and add these lines:

RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{REMOTE_ADDR} ^69.SPLOGGER.IP.55
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://newfeedurl.com/feed

Edit as necessary. Be sure the IP address is for the splog, and put in an interesting feed URL. You could try the feed from a copyright attorney’s blog, but I would personally recommend using a feed URL from a porno blog ;)

Then watch the splog to see what gets posted!

Is The Million Dollar Wiki a Scam?

We all know that the Million Dollar Wiki is over hyped, and it will probably fade out of the public eye within a few months. But could things be worse?

See, they claim that the site will be live at least 15 years.

With the initial sales, the hosting expenses have been secured for the first 15 years, and guarantee that the site will run until May of 2022. Our intention is to keep the site up forever.

But if that’s the case, why does the domain expire in 2008?

whois for milliondollarwiki

The hosting won’t do much good if there is no domain name…

That’s not the full story though. I noticed some other fishy stuff going on…

For example, the number of spam pages that they sold. I don’t mean crappy pages, because they sold a TON of them… more like duplicate word pages.

I can’t find the place I saw this, but I was sure they had specific guidelines that only one page for each topic would be sold, each word had to make sense, it couldn’t be a verb, etc.

But take a look at the index page:

milliondollarwiki spam pages

I see 4 pages about 0% Interest Credit Cards and 5 pages about how to Apply for a Credit Card. Not to mention one for “Airline Tickets” and one for “Airlinetickets.”

Further down the page I found “Bestcreditcardstorecom.” You gotta be kidding me. Not only should that page not be allowed (since “Bestcreditcardstorecom” is not in the dictionary or even used as slang,) whoever bought a page using that ‘word’ has lost their mind.

Stay tuned for more…

Huge $4000 Blog Anniversary Prize Drawing (With an Entire $25 in Cash!)

Today I’m going to spread the word about another huge contest (http://www.davidairey.com/graphic-designer-prize-giveaway) that’s going on in the blogosphere, but first, think about this…

How do you value a specific service? I’m not talking about something with a retail price, but more like a one-time deal. And to complicate things even more, the ’something’ in question will actually be given out for free!

Do you make something up? Base it off an hourly rate? Or just say $47 because that is the typical value of a free ebook?

It’s like the prices at overstock/warehouse style department stores. Their tags might be marked at $99.99 retail price, but you get 75% off, for a total of about $25. Great deal, right?

But what if most normal department stores are selling it for $29.99 to begin with… so that $99.99 “retail price” was total BS. (The MSRP seems to always get lost in the whole process…)

Anyway, I got sidetracked thinking about that shady sales tactic from department stores. (Maybe internet marketers took a lesson from them…)

What we’re really here to discuss is how to audit a $4000 prize package to see if it is indeed worth $4000. And we’re doing that because David Airey’s blog is one year old next month, and he’s having a giveaway to celebrate… a $4000 giveaway!

To get a chance at the grand prize, all I have to do is link to his blog (see above,) subscribe to his RSS feed for a secret word, and link to some sponsors (see below.) If you want in, you need to do the same.

Here are some of the prizes we need to consider:

Wow, that’s too much to audit, and it’s not even the complete prize list!

But it’s enough to convince me, a humble blogger, to sell out! Hell, I’d write about it if the $25 cash was the only prize. :)

(The deadline for entries is Wednesday, September 26th 2007, and the winners will be announced on Monday, October 1st 2007.)

(P.S. If you enter, be sure to email David and let him know about your post and the secret word!)

How To Pull In Quick Cash With a Myspace Resource Site

myspace friends button

What’s happening to me? I just gave you a totally free Myspace Resource Site script, and now I’m giving out my money-making secrets?

Nope, I’m not doing it out of the goodness of my heart. (Give me a break, I’m still an internet marketer!) I’m doing it for a chance at a $100 grand prize in BlueJar.com’s group writing contest!

To win the contest, I have to write a “how-to” blog post. So I’m writing out a step-by-step process about how to set-up a Myspace resource site and pull in loads of cash! (Your results may vary.)

OK, let’s get down and dirty and stake our claim in this cutthroat world of myspace resource sites:

1. Check your conscience at the door.

Read this, which talks about how you can’t use Myspace for commercial purposes and whatnot. And this article, about the whole business of myspace resource sites.

2. Download the script.

This is pretty simple: just read this blog via RSS and you’ll see the download link at the bottom of each post. (More info here.)

3. Get a domain name and hosting.

This is the only step that will really cost anything, but it’s pretty basic. If you know what you’re doing, just pick your favorite host and get setup.

If you don’t have any hosting or know what to do, you can use my affiliate link and sign-up at Dreamhost since they offer tons of space and bandwidth, plus a free domain name, all for $7.95 per month. (Or HostGator, because they’re supposed to be pretty good, too.)

Domain name tip: I don’t recommend using the word “myspace” in your domain name because that would directly infringe on their trademark, and they might just shut you down. But you can use words like profile and layouts without hassle.

4. Edit and upload the script.

This is pretty simple too, just read the Install.txt file that came with the script.

Remember, the more you edit the images and the CSS file, the better. A lot of other sites will be based on a similar script, so you want your website to at least look different than them.

(It should end up something like this.)

5. Create your own myspace profile.

Now that your site is up, it’s time to get ready for marketing…

Go to Myspace and sign-up for your own profile, which will relate to your new website.

Once you signup and have to pick a name, choose something like “myspace.com/yourdomainname” so people can relate your profile to your actual website.

Add a picture, too. If you aren’t a cute teenage girl, you could just use your website’s logo. Or a funny picture of Borat. As long as it attracts attention, it’s good.

Now make your profile pretty. Real pretty. Even if you use a layout and graphics from someone else’s site, you want to convince anyone that sees your profile that you are a myspace layout expert. That will lead them to visit your layout site.

To be sure they do, put links to your site all over your profile. At least have a banner in the top corner and a text link in the About Me section, but the more the merrier.

Remember: The target market here is teenagers. You’ll be dealing with teenagers, so get used to it by scanning a lot of profiles on Myspace to get a feel for how they interact. You need to fit in, and you don’t accomplish that by acting professionally - you act like a kid again!

6. Make friends

If your profile is set, it’s time to show it off.

Which means we’re going to do some real work: getting friends, leaving comments, and socializing.

No bots allowed. We’re doing this the old-fashioned way (so you don’t get banned for spamming…)

The easiest way to start is to look for Myspace groups that are focused on HTML, layouts, graphic design, etc. Join them and add your fellow members as friends.

*Just don’t spam the groups. Everyone will HATE you!*

Next, find very popular myspace layout profiles, and add them as friends. Add all their friends, too, for good measure.

Note: Don’t add that many friends per day. Start out slowly so that Myspace doesn’t ban you.

7. Beg

If you have been nice so far, you might have a few friends. And you’ll want to leverage your friends to help yourself.

For example, see if you can do a “w4w” or “s4s” with someone. It would be like sending bulletins for each other or doing a link exchange between your profiles.

Ideally you can get someone popular to help you, but it won’t be that simple. You could offer to return the favor once you have a more popular profile, or to link to them from your real website. Anything to convince them to spread the word about you.

8. Link Exchanges

Since you can’t spend all day on Myspace (well you probably could, but try not to…) do some link exchanges with other webmasters.

By now you should have at least a few people visiting the site. So head to the DP link exchange forums and the MSP link exchange forums.

Do lots and lots of link exchanges. (Don’t worry about doing too many, just look at the amount of links plastered on both sides of this site.)

Not everyone will exchange links with a new site that has very little traffic and no PR, but some people will, so just keep at it.

Tip for your linking code: Use good anchor text, and use the Title attribute of the a tag.

For example: <a href=”http://www.mysite.com” title=”myspace layouts”>Myspace Layouts</a>

That’s what you would request someone else place on their site when linking to you.

Along with that, Myspace Toplists (like this, this, and this) are great places to submit your site. You have to place a reciprocal link though, so it’s basically a link exchange.

9. Repeat

Steps 6, 7, and 8 should be repeated daily.

Check your Myspace account at least once a day and add new friends, comment on current friends, and join in the discussion boards on group pages.

Then back to the link exchange forums looking for more webmasters.

10. Expand your advertising

As more people visit your site, your choice of advertising gets more important.

Adsense is built into this script, but there are other options you can try. Sticking with Adsense is OK, but you’ll be getting about 1 cent per click…

CPA affiliate offers are a good addition. Ones that might work well include those “free iPhone” offers. Anything free is good, especially the forms that only require a visitor to submit their email or zip for you to get paid.

Closing a sale to a myspace resource site visitor isn’t easy, so CPM and CPC ads are good choices. Affiliate links… not so much.

Note: Ad/affiliate networks frown on advertising on myspace, so make sure you only place ads on your own site.

11. Add more content.

Got any traffic and revenue yet?

Now that the basics are behind us, it’s time to set your site apart. You do that by getting cool stuff and posting it on your site consistently.

Sources for new stuff: User submissions, MSP Freebies forum, or steal them like everyone else. (Note: I’m not advocating theft, but chances are 10 people have stolen a given layout before you, and that’s how you found it!)

You could buy stuff too if your budget allows. Again, the Myspace Pros forum is the place to be.

Or you could leave the site “as is.” That’s fine too. You’ll just sacrifice some revenue for more free time.

12. Personal marketing: Seek out lame profiles.

This could be seen as very helpful or very spammy, depending on how you do it, but…

You could browse Myspace looking for people who still have the basic white/orange layout, and then let them know how easy it is to get a cool layout if they visit your site.

Ideally you could find someone with lots of friends, because getting your link on their page would pay off nicely.

Just don’t send too many random messages.

13. Repeat.

Keep working on advertising and marketing!

Improve your site daily for maximum success!

14. Relax.

Now that you have some traffic coming in, the site runs itself. That’s the beauty of it, and why it’s worth the hours of work in the beginning.

More traffic means more people will end up putting your content (along with your link) on their profile pages. And then people will see that, visit your site, and add your content to their site. And that will continue on autopilot. :)

15. Sell.

Now it’s time to face reality.

You never know when the whole Myspace fad is going to collapse. Maybe Myspace will crack down on all the resource sites that are profiting off their name. Maybe everyone will switch to a new site.

Either way, you don’t want to be around when it happens. So make your site popular, maybe even build more of them, but eventually sell them off.

16. Build Facebook apps.

Hey, unless your sites get to the level of WhateverLife, you won’t be able to retire. So get to work on some Facebook apps before that market is too saturated!

Good luck and have fun! :)

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